You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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