The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
