So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
