lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
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I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
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If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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