I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize