I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
