im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize