This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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