i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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