i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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