Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
