How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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