I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize