The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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