i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
