I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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