Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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