i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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