So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize