I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
