Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
