I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
