Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
