We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
