it glows. i had to have it.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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