Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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