You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
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According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
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What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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