Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
