Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize