I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Randomize
