I must be too annoying 4 u.
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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