Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
We got so high we made milksteak
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
His hands were made for my vagina.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
