his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I need mimosas to revive my soul
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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