is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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