it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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