I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
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It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
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she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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