now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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