oh god the rape fog is back!
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Randomize
