A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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