I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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