Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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