Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
how drunk are you?
Several
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
