theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
