Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize