Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize