2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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