does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
