i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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