Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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