ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
