I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
