I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
