first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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