I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
