My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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