So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
