Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Banned from zoo.
Again?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Randomize
