So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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