You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
