Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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