He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I deserve this hangover.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize